Change May Be Easier Than You Think

“When it comes to personal change, we first think of our own lack of motivation. Our primary problem isn’t that we’re weak; it’s that we are blind - and when it comes to long-standing habits, what you can’t see is usually what’s controlling you. And since we can’t see how many sources of influence are working against us, we blame our setbacks on the one source of influence we can spot - ourselves.” (Change Anything)

Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break.

Last year I established two new habits: 1) Read for 30 - 45 minutes before bed every night 2) Spend 15-20 minutes a day, five days a week, learning Spanish (with a couple of apps such as Memrise). Last year I also set an intention to start playing the piano again on a regular basis. And yet, I maybe played 3-4 times the entire year.

What gives?

The book Change Anything provides a useful framework for creating personal change.  The main premise is that these primary sources of influence (which we are often blind to) affect our lives. In order to create change, we have to use these sources to our advantage (instead of inadvertently succumbing to their invisible force and blaming ourselves for lacking the willpower to change).

• Personal (motivation and ability) - we have desires and wants, but wanting to do something is frequently not enough to actually do it; we have to develop the ability to counter negative influences and create positive ones.
• Social (motivation and ability) - people around us motivate and enable our habits (and we have to surround ourselves with ‘friends’ who positively influence our good habits and distance ourselves from ‘accomplices’ who encourage our bad habits).
• Structural (motivation and ability) - things in our environment affect our behavior in ways we don’t realize and so we have take control of our environment in order to change behavior.

How can you apply this framework to create change? I applied a part of this framework to my piano playing struggles.

Personal influences: I realized that even though I had high motivation, I was also stuck because I hadn’t played in a while and had gotten rusty. So I set a simple goal - play once every weekend. Guess what? That first weekend rolled around and I still didn’t play. I possessed the motivation, but not the ability to make progress. I had to change my goal and approach.

Structural influences: I realized that even though I had a piano and plenty of sheet music, there was a structural influence working against me: my music was disorganized and I didn’t know how to decide what to play.

Step 1: I spent an hour organizing my music. Then I looked through the pieces I had once played only to realize that I had little desire to re-learn something. I needed a new challenge.

Step 2: I leafed through the rest of my sheet music, looking for an appropriate piece I had never played before. And I found just what I needed - a piece I love that I always thought would be too difficult. Staring at the actual sheet music gave me confidence that I could make it work.

Step 3: I established a stretch goal: I would play at least once a week, just this new piece, and try to learn at least the first couple of pages. I figured this would be difficult enough to challenge me, and yet not so difficult that I would give up too soon.

Today, two months later, I can play most of the piece decently well, as a result of practicing several times a week. In fact, every time I sit at the piano, I do so with renewed enthusiasm and energy.

What would YOU like to change next? Share in the comments below and let’s brainstorm how you could use these sources of influence to your advantage!

P.S. If you are curious about the framework, check out the book itself - it’s a quick and easy read. You can borrow it from your local library. (I borrowed it from the DC Public Library.)

Zarko Palankov is a relator, thinker and builder. He seeks ways to connect ideas, people and organizations, to create platforms for learning, collaboration and growth, and to fundamentally change the leadership paradigm: how we work together toward a common vision. He is currently building a social venture, LeadIN, whose mission is to enable you to become the leader you are. LeadIN brings people together to learn, share, and grow their leadership.

Feel free to follow Zarko on Twitter @zarkopalankov